An Engineer walks into a bar, it was an iron bar …...ouch

Two Engineers walk into a bar, the third on ducks

Two ducks walk into a bar – “waddle” you have asks the barman  (just in case you don't get it - ducks waddle, they don't walk” editor)

Did you hear about the Engineer working on a time travel project – he threw a clock out of the window

Did you hear about the nervous Engineer who got caught in closing elevator doors – it was shear stress

Did you hear about the dyslexic Engineer who walked into a bra

How many engineers does it take to change a lightbulb – Depends on the the Scope of Work

An engineer walks into a bar with a steering wheel down his pants.  The bartender says whats that all about.  He says I'm not sure but it's driving me nuts

An engineer walks into a bar with jumper leads.  The bartender says “I suppose you can come in – but don't start anything”

What did the boy brick say to the girl brick – lets get together and cement our relationship

Did you hear about the engineer who stood on the end of a cantilever beam – it was a bending moment

Did you hear about the engineers dancing the twist – it was all torque

A Chinese engineer was having a drink in a bar when all of he lights went out.  I can fix this problem said the Engineer.  I want everyone in the place to raise both of their hands into the air above their heads.  Looking very perplexed,  they did as they where instructed and the lights came on again. How on earth did you do that asked the barman.  The Chinese Engineer replied surely you have heard of the old Chinese proverb “Many Hands Make Light Work”

Why did the Engineer cross the road – Because it was written in the Scope of Work
Why did the second Engineer cross the road – To verify that the first Engineer had followed the Scope of Work
Why did the third Engineer cross the road – To have a site meeting with the first two Engineers and review the Scope of Work
Why did the fourth Engineer cross the road – He was taking the minutes of the meeting
Why did the fifth Engineer cross the road – Because he didn't want to miss out on the project
Why did the sixth Engineer cross the road – to tell the first five Engineers that the Scope of Work had been revised and that they should be back on the other side of the road
The seventh Engineer was hit by a vehicle and died – But he crossed over to “the other side” anyway